pictureless

No pictures today. I left my camera in Claus's car. Instead of posting pictures and snappy little comments, I think today I'm going to try to give a better impression of what life is like here, who I spend my time with and what I do. It'll be a different type of illustration.

Sometime last week Claus turned to me and said that he thinks I'm having more fun than the rest of the CIEE students. One of my favorite things about Claus is the way he speaks. He makes a lot of grand, sweeping statements, really solemn stuff about Life and Love and How Things Are. He always sounds very authoritative, as if he's spent the three years he's got on me exploring every facet of human behavior, and when he speaks it's not what he thinks, it's what he knows. He's solemn when he makes his proclamations, but when I call him on things I find particularly ridiculous, he always cracks a grin, admits I could be right, and refuses to be embarrassed at all. It's all very endearing, easy to get swept up in. He lectures me a lot; about language, culture, how I can't constantly be trying to take on all the world's problems, and how I should stop giving my heart freely to people who don't know what to do with it. These are arguments I know better than my own name by now. I usually slip into “grin, try to look serious, and nod” mode, which is what I do whenever someone I care very much about and means very well tries to give me advice I have no intentions of ever following. Dad should know exactly what I'm talking about here, because he's who I trained on to perfect my method.

I said yes, I do think I'm having more fun. When the other CIEE students talk about their time here, it sounds like they're doing more with other Americans than with Brazilians. I also find it hard to believe that anyone could have found better friends than Paulo and Claus. Of course, I don't really talk to any of the Americans about anything important (except for Brandon), so who knows? But I do feel like I'm having an awfully good time, and it does seem to be pretty different than the others, so I said yeah, I think so. I have you two. I don't know if anyone else has made connections like this.

I've written previously about how different the rules are for physical contact are, and how much difficulty I had adjusting to them. I think Brazilian culture in general is warmer or something, because Paulo and Claus also tell me pretty frequently how much they like me. Paulo is easily one of the most affectionate people I've ever met. I was a little weirded out by it at first, but after watching him with some of his other friends, I'm actually pretty envious. Everyone who knows him absolutely loves him, and I think that's in part because he makes it so obvious he's happy to be with you. In the few stolen seconds when he's not drawing, he's probably hugging someone. He's told me a couple times that he cares a lot about me and will miss me a lot when I leave. I always tell him that I'll be back, but every time it's more obvious how much I'll miss him in the time between. Claus does it, too. He gives me a lot of rides home, and after each one we kiss each other on the cheek and he thanks me for my company. He always appears to be genuine. I laugh and tell him it's no problem, give him a little wave, and hop up the stairs to my building. I'm jolted off-kilter every time, but every day it seems more and more natural. Soon I'll figure out something to say back instead of an awkward giggle. It's not that this kind of thing is frowned on or unusual in the US, exactly, it's just that. Well. It is unusual. I adore Erin and I have a good time with her whenever we hang out, but I don't look her in the eye and tell her I love her. I do, obviously. But that's not something we tell our friends. I mean those specific words and the sentiment in general. I mean, we're friends. It should be pretty apparent. She should already know. I'm flustered by it, but I think I like the Brazilian way better. Of course, it might not be Brazil. It might just be Paulo and Claus being Paulo and Claus. They have a tendency to do that.

Claus explained that no, he didn't mean because of him and Paulo specifically, but because of where they take me. He thinks I'm getting a better view of Brazil, a more rounded experience of the culture, a better idea of what it's like to do day to day, Brazilian things. I think that's true, too. We've gone to clubs a couple times, but for the most part, we do normal things. We go to bars and listen to Claus tell us about his theories on relationships, we go to movies, we take walks around the city and go to museums. Last weekend we went to one of Claus's work friend's house in the country and had an authentic Brazilian barbecue. Claus tried to teach me to do tricks with a soccer ball. Paulo spent most of the day conducting things at the grill, slicing and chopping with knives he sharpened (and probably made) himself. Every once in a while he'd call me over and ask for a plate or a bowl or force-feed me a different cut of meat. Paulo has mentioned that he likes having me around because I make him realize how much he likes Brazilian culture. I like being around him because he constantly has something new to show me, even when I've already had a small mountain of meat and beer and can't actually force anything more into my face. Later, he chased the friend's dog around for hours and tried to teach it to swim. At some point, someone tossed the dog an empty Coke bottle. As it fell, Claus or Celso shouted for her to fight against American imperialism, and she attacked it gleefully. I laughed pretty hard at that. Except for the part where I fell with my whole weight on my elbow, it was a wonderful way to spend the day. It was a very laid back. Everyone pretty much just sat around eating and drinking and laughing at the awful voices Claus and his friend Celso make. It was all very normal, and I was really touched to be invited to be part of it, even if it was nothing special to them.

Claus works in PR. This means in theory that he checks for bad press regarding his company's clients. In practice, he spends the first half of the day chatting with me on Google Talk and sending me bizarre YouTube videos. His company is on Rua Angelica close to Paulista, which is about a 15 minute walk from my apartment. Most days I don't have class until after 1, so sometimes I get up a little earlier and walk over to meet him for lunch. On Monday, I met up with him and one of Paulo's friends, Nathalia. Nathalia is tiny, Japanese, and adorable. She studies graphic arts at Paulo's university. Like most of his friends, she is obscenely talented in multiple media. She is also slightly bizarre and generally just a really good time, although she's much more chatty on MSN than off it. Claus and I went shopping with her on Saturday. I had been deadly curious as to where all the counterculture is in São Paulo. She took us to a galleria, which basically amounted to a punk shopping mall. We bought overpriced screen-printed blouses by a local alternative fashion boutique. I felt very chique, but in a really angry, rebel against my parents sort of way. Less Than Jake is going to have a show here on the 29th, so hopefully I can relive my angsty middle school days in style. Anyway, we went to a wonderful orange Indian restaurant and had coffee after. It was all very mundane, but it made me stupidly happy to be included in something mundane. I'm not just the gringa, I'm a gringa that someone wants to have around.

After class I usually stop by White Rabbit, the internet cafe to which CIEE gave us a couple hours a week. Paulo used to work there, and I guess Claus did too, for a couple months. Claus used the opportunity to pick up women, because he's Claus. Paulo's commitment was greater, and, I think, his harvest has been, too. Paulo is generally more quiet and thoughtful. He's very sincere. Paulo's met a couple women through WR, and also half the populatin of Perdizes (the neighborhood that hosts PUC, WR, and Paulo. I live in Higienopolis, which is a 30 minute walk/15 minute bus ride away), Graham, Brandon, and me. He gets free internet. He also uses their back room to teach drawing classes. Paulo's been busier lately. The semester is creeping along, and he recently accepted a position as a TA for a sculpture course. Generally in the past it's been easier to run into him there, which is what I do when I can, because I hate the phone and Brazil facilitates my hatred by making it obscenely expensive to call anyone. When Paulo isn't at WR, I generally assume he's doing something more important, and that if I wait he'll eventually show up.

Paulo is a natural teacher. He talks about earning his Master's, which is the level necessary to teach at universities here. I hope he does. He's been on a mission lately to make me remember at least two tree names. I have one down. He has high hopes for me. We've spent a lot of time sitting on the benches outside PUC. He always tries to get me to eat slightly suspicious things he buys from street vendors. I usually give in. I'm here to learn, and by that I mean I'm here to let Paulo talk me into eating bizarre new things. Recently we've been going to the grocery store a lot. I like to look at the fruits, and Paulo likes to name them for me. The store has beer for Paulo and Claus and juice for me, or sometimes Coke for everyone. There's a little cafe and a seating area outside, where we sit and talk about art. Paulo always carries a black messenger back and almost always pulls out a new book to show me. He draws like a madman, so there's always his sketchbook to flip through, too. It was his birthday yesterday. I bought him a couple more books. He can always use more. I bought The Gunslinger and the first part of Watchmen. I think he'll like The Gunslinger. That should tell you quite a bit about him right there.

These are the people I spend all my time with. Now you know a little bit of them, too.