the first few days: not so much culture shock as culture panic

One of the things I've always heard people say about studying abroad is that the first couple months were the worst in their lives, but the last couple were easily the best. I was pretty skeptical about that until now. I was way overconfident when I first got here and I was terrified by the airport and taxi when I realized how little I could say, and worse, how little I understood. I immediately felt a hell of a lot better when the rest of the CIEE group arrived. At about 2 on the 6th I was working myself into a fit of anxiety because my roommate hadn't showed up and no one had contacted me about how to meet the group. I ended up just going downstairs to the front desk to ask if anyone had checked in, and there was an entire horde of English speakers milling around in the lobby. I almost cried with relief.

The group is massive. CIEE has three Brazil programs; a semester in Bahia, a semester in Sao Paulo, and a five week intensive language program held in Sao Paulo that's mandatory for the semester kids. You can also enroll in the language course separately or as part of another program in, for example, Chile or Argentina. There are something like 30 kids for Bahia, 25 for Sao Paulo, and 3 just doing the ILCP. We're in the neighborhood of 60 loud American kids. Every time we go out to eat we absolutely mob the restaurant.

Everyone I've met has been really, really nice. Everyone's eager to introduce themselves and I've even come across a couple people who know people from Appleton. I was really worried everyone would know each other already. There are about eight hundred people from Georgetown. Turns out most of them don't know each other, or at least not well. There's a lot of room for socialization. The only thing is that most of them are from the coasts or the South, and go to either really well known state schools or private liberal arts schools. They've also all been to Europe sixty times. I'm ok with the Brazilian students, and I've made it through a series of cheek kisses with no serious mistakes. I think I was pretty well prepared for Brazil. Weirdly, my worst culture shock is coming from the other Americans.

I'm also the only Art History student in the program. There's a guy who goes to (where else?) Georgetown for Poli Sci and Art Semiotics, which is, from his description, something like a permutation of Visual Culture Studies. He told me he hates everything before 1850, so we're pals whether he likes it or not. No one knows a lot about Latin American art, which is actually really surprising because just about everybody is studying International Relations and Latin American Studies. You'd think they'd hear about the basics, at least in passing. Most people have been really curious when I tell them what I study, and I've had a lot of “Oh, we should definitely go to the museum!” comments. The Sao Paulo modern art museum is right across the street from the hotel, so I will be all over that. I'd like to go with the other students, too. They're kind of embarrassing in bars, (who isn't, I guess) but they're pretty open minded when it comes to art, and I really value that.

Although everyone is really friendly and really polite, I still felt very, very, very out of place today. I have a lot of trouble making friends sometimes. I'm quiet unless I'm talking about art, and I'm pretty shy at first. So I'd be sitting in groups of people and not saying anything and listening to them talk about hot clubs in Barcelona, and then go outside and find out I can't even order anything to eat without tripping all over my words and relying on another student to help me. I have more than enough vocabulary, but I get awfully nervous when I'm speaking to people. I start making mistakes, and I get more and more flustered and embarrassed after every one until I can't say anything at all.

The first turning point was when I went out alone today. Taboo, I know. I had kind of had it with trying to fit in with the other kids, so I went up to my room, wrote a long whiny e-mail to Fred, and then decided to go to the mall across the street. I wanted to find some note cards so I could start making flashcards and improving my Portuguese instead of just sitting around feeling alienated. So I went over and wandered around a bit, not realizing that the shops are all closed by 4ish on Sundays. There were a ton of booths set up with crafts and jewelry and other things for sale, mostly not bad by US standards.

Tangent: I've read Sao Paulo is about as expensive as say, New York or Chicago, or any big US city. I don't know about real estate or anything, but it seems to me that most prices are actually a little lower than Milwaukee standards, if not just about the same. There were a bunch of neat handmade jewelry boxes for about 40 Reais, so around $20. It's not a crazy obscene deal, but it's still a bit less than what you might expect in the US. The food prices are about the same, although the fast food is DEAD cheap. I got an entire pizza for 8,50 R ($4.25ish) at a Middle Eastern fast food place called Habib's. It was pretty decent, too. Although I think $4 is expensive for a drink, I'm used to paying 75 cents for a can of Coke, not going out and buying Martinis. The other kids say the drinks are dirt cheap, especially considering how strong they are. The cell phones are NUTS, though. I was warned they'd be expensive, but I didn't really understand until I got here. The cheapest phone is around $90, and mobile to mobile is around 75 cents/minute with mobile to land line even more pricey. You pay double if you leave the city.

So anyway, I ventured out on my own and explored the market (feira). I poked around a bit and then ran into two kids from the program. Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I tried to talk to them entirely in Portuguese, and mother of God I don't know why, but I succeeded for the most part. I explained what I was looking for and asked if they'd see anything and what they were looking for. It was pretty rudimentary, but it happened. Even though I made mistakes, I just kept talking. It felt really good to be by myself, not obsessively worry about other people judging me (which I thought I'd gotten rid of in middle school, but apparently not), and prove to myself that I am competent after all. I'm just kind of solitary sometimes, I guess.

Safety-wise, I've gotten the impression that it's actually a lot like Milwaukee here. We're in the central commerce area, and most of us are living in pretty nice neighborhoods. It's perfectly safe to be out and about alone in the daytime as long as you're not broadcasting that you're a foreigner. A lot of students take night classes, so the buses are actually safe and crowded even at night. The thing is that they stop at 12, after which you have to take taxis. The taxis are pretty heavily regulated I guess, so they're also very safe, but very expensive. If you're walking you're fine, you just want to be in a group, not completely drunk, and not speaking in English. The worst that will happen around here is that you'll get robbed.

After that I was feeling pretty good but still a little weird. I went up to my room and tried to translate my host's CIEE application and letter to me. After an hour or so I went downstairs to meet her. Her name is Francisca Silva, and she's a retired social worker. She's divorced and has no children. When we met, she greeted me like I was her own daughter. She speaks Spanish passably well, so when I didn't know something in Portuguese I just said it in Spanish and she helped me translate. I immediately felt much more at ease. Once I could finally speak freely, I surprised myself with how much Portuguese I still remember.

I think the most calming thing about her is that she reminds me very strongly of my mom's friend and friend's mom Yvonne Bauer. She talked a lot tonight about the gatherings she likes to throw for her friends, how she likes to cook new things, and how much she loves the arts. She even dressed like the Brazilian version of Yvonne. So Mrs. Bauer, if you're reading this (first of all I hope you don't mind if I'm calling you Yvonne), you need to learn Portuguese and talk to this woman.

A final really great thing about Senhora Silva is that two of her best friends, the ones she has little parties with all the time, are also hosting students. One of them is an adorable Japanese-Brazilian woman (I think I heard them say Nip-Brasiliano; reminds me of Neal Stephenson) who's hosting my roommate. I hadn't talked to Patrice much until tonight. I knew she was neat and polite, but not much else. I got to know her a lot better tonight. I think we're going to get along very well. I also found out that Brandon, the Art Semiotics guy, is going to live about a block away from me.

Very long story short, I was miserable and absolutely hated Brazil this morning, but now that I'm typing this I feel at home and I'm extremely excited about the upcoming months. I anticipate more crazy mood swings, but now that I've proven to myself that I can beat the language barrier, I think the worst is over. Knock on wood.

Brazilian trivia time! All the toilet paper, kleenex, and other various paper products have the Kimberly-Clark logo stamped all over them. I was so shocked to see it my first day that I almost fell off the toilet. Also, I'm pretty sure that Paulistanos eat more cheese than Wisconsinites do. Every meal I've had has been served with some kind of cheese, and every salad I've ever seen here has had big chunks of different types of cheese in it. Some are thick and dry, some are more like brie. I have no idea what any of them are called, except Minas cheese. It's from Minas Gerais and it's white, kind of gooey, and very mild. The rest is “white cube with brown stuff” and “thin kind of floppy slice of bright orange” to me.